Some Like it Slightly Less Hot, Actually

An easy one today as I was quite busy – instead of pulling on the same old coat, I went a-delving under the stairs.

Having been assured that all signs pointed to a winter filled with depths of cold the likes of which had ne’er been seen before (I don’t know why discussing the weather makes me talk like an old farmer, but it does. Deal with it.) I bought a Merrell Haven – an extremely toasty, well-insulated coat.  It keeps all the chills out and makes me really snug and warm. Which is great in freezing weather, but it was 11 degrees today. Wear that and you start to understand how a jacket potato feels, slowly but surely heating up to the point where yes, you might explode, if you haven’t been stabbed a few times with a fork. (Analogy fail.  Sorry.)

So it was spelunking gear on, safety rope attached and under the stairs I went, into That pile.  You know the one, the pile of all the coats you’ve ever owned, ever.  Scientists have proved that on average, each person keeps 94.7% of all the coats they’ve ever had* and that means every under stairs cupboard contains at least fifteen coats of varying sizes, styles and degrees of decrepitude.  Throwing aside my duffel coat from junior school, the Girl Power era turquoise pleather cropped jacket and the full-length fun-fur Muppet-skin coat,  I found a cord blazer that had once been a wardrobe staple but got thrown aside for the Hotinator (as I call my Haven). Together with my GIANT SCARF (seriously, I own tents with less fabric) I rocked that bad boy all day.  And I found an unused tissue in the pocket.  It’s like that tissue was free! That’s a penny in my purse, good buddy.


January 4th – ReJanimated an old coat.

* might be a lie.


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